Thursday, August 5, 2010

Martin's Bitching Bison & Blue Cheese Burgers

Summer is here, so it is time to heat up the BBQ, crack a beer, and ogle the women.

Here is my low-carb version of Bison Burgers, high in protein and good fats, while keeping the sugars down where they should be.


1 LB Ground Bison
1.5 ounces Blue Cheese Crumbles
0.5 t Worchestshire sauce
0.5 t Fresh ground pepper
0.5 t Salt
1 Habanero (diced)
1 T Spicy Mustard
* Mix these items together into burger paste and let sit in the refridgerator for 1-2 hours.
  1. Heat coals while slicing up sweet pickles, peeling large lettuce leaves, cutting up banana peppers, slicing cherry tomatoes, and cutting up onion slices.
  2. Grill burger patties 5-6 minutes per side or until well done.
  3. The large romaine lettuce leaves serve as the bun, so lay the finished patty on a leaf.
  4. Add fixin's
  5. Take a smaller leaf and lay over the top

Macro-nutrient Profile (based on 4oz Patty)

Fat: 20g
Carbohydrates: 5g (stay away from ketchup or BBQ sauce, or this will go way up)
Protein: 33g

Preemptive Disclaimer - I realize that A) worrying about one's diet, and B) having pretty flowers on your dining table may not qualify as "rugged."  I know...I KNOW.



Hanley Bonynge said...

Not really sure how I feel about this. And without my "sucked" button it's even worse. Bison meat is good so I will give you that. But I kind of feel that eating a lettuce wrapped burger is like eating non-fat or soy ice cream. The whole point of the item is that it is delicious mostly due to unhealthy stuff.

My claim has always been do the real thing, just less often if you're worried about calories or carbs or whatever. Or just don't be a pussy.

Alison said...

Bison? As in buffalos-Indians-mozarrella bison?


Allison said...

Not sure I could handle a lettuce leaf bun, or habanero.

Anonymous said...

If it isn't flowers in wine glasses, it's flower rimmed plates...

Gonna have to agree with Hanley about the lettuce wrapping, especially since Bison is pretty lean as it is. Does look damn tasty though! Bon Appetite!

Venom said...

Is there really a difference between 'bison' & 'buffalo' - I prefer the heft of the word 'buffalo'. Just saying; but maybe I'm just being stubborn because everyone else calls them 'bison' these days.

Martin, Martin, Martin.
While I am glad to know you can cook, and I understand that, being an athlete, you are careful about your diet....

But I'm just gonna come out and say it Martin -- eating your BUFFALO burger with all it's spicy, manly HEAT out of a handful of lettuce leaves is just PUSSY.

I'm sorry man, but somebody has to be real with you - it's pussy, so fucking quit it and buy a gaddang bag of buns already. Hit the heavy bag an extra 10 minutes tomorrow if you feel guilty, but worrying about a fucking teaspoon of ketchup makes you sound like Barbie man.

If I weren't currently in a wheelchair, just to rebalance the universe for this post, I would wait for the dead of night, saddle my horse, ride 2 miles to the local BUFFALO ranch, choose a plump calf & shoot it dead right there amongst the herd. Then I would drop a loop around it's neck & drag it home over 2 miles of gravel, string it up, skin it, butcher it, and it a big hunk of it raw in your name.

Don't make me save this adventure until I can walk again - lose the fear of a little bread man, it'll make you free.

Anonymous said...

Holy shit. You'd take less heat if you had clubbed a baby seal.

Alison said...

I dont think Venom is a salad kinda guy - but the man has a point. And i think he just stabbed you with it.

TheBigShowAtUD said...

true. it's not "rugged" to say "low carb," but eating real animals makes up for it. good job, man. bison(s) are delish.

KA said...


Martin said...

Hanley - I'm not a huge fan of bread's taste, so the sacrifice was bearable.

Alison - Those ones!

Allison - Love me some habanero.

Clara - I like flowers...what can I say?

Venom - I hope you get better soon, as it would appear that being immobile makes you feisty. I'll call it buffalo in the future...for you. I hope you complete your adventure...the killing a buffalo dead one, because I want to read about it.

Dad - "ill try that instead next time.

Alison - Venom is of the womenz, but you're right, she does have a sharp point.

Big Show - Calling it "low-carb" was a regrettable oversight and will not be repeated. But I DID eat a buffalo, albeit one that was killed, ground-up and then sold at a grocery store.

KA - You know it.

Juliana said...

martin, you're sharing recipes now? can we do rugged fall fashion next, please? :)