"Life has become immeasurably better since I was forced to stop taking it seriously."-Hunter S. Thompson
I haven't been able to focus on my reading at all lately. I will re-read the same line for the 15th time, my mind will be all over the place, and I don't absorb anything. I was staring at the page in my book tonight, frustrated, and I realized the problem. I'm dealing with far too much input lately, and my brain is full. Work is crazy, I have some personal stuff going on...there is just a lot of balls in the air right now.
Most of the day I walk around frustrated, angry and depressed, irritated by every minor inconvenience and probably just a joy to be around. There are so many negative phone calls and emails pouring in that I am constantly running them around in my head, analyzing and critiquing my responses, calling my Dad to both vent and ask for advice. He's probably beyond sick of hearing about what happens at a textile factory thousands of miles away, but he always takes my calls. Yesterday, I found three gray hairs at my temples, the first ones. Today I decided it was time to buzz my head again.
For the first time in my life, I completely understand the temptation of people to get off work, drink a few beers, and then just zone out in front of the TV. It is a break from thinking, and it is a break from the constant stream of news, information and data that I have been processing over the last 10-12 hours. I have always been excellent at separating my LIFE from work, and stress never kept me from training, reading and doing the things that I care about. These days, I am so wrapped up in it all that I can't let myself let go of it. I've been exercising less, drinking more, and eating like shit. My blog posts are all emo like this one.
Starting tomorrow, I am going to pull my shit together and get back to being me.
How do you get yourself out of a rut? What do you do when work is becoming your everything?
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He who hesitates is lost