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Friday, July 2, 2010

A Post so Emo that "Fall Out Boy" Should Play the Soundtrack

"Life has become immeasurably better since I was forced to stop taking it seriously."
-Hunter S. Thompson

I haven't been able to focus on my reading at all lately.  I will re-read the same line for the 15th time, my mind will be all over the place, and I don't absorb anything.  I was staring at the page in my book tonight, frustrated, and I realized the problem.  I'm dealing with far too much input lately, and my brain is full.  Work is crazy, I have some personal stuff going on...there is just a lot of balls in the air right now.  

Most of the day I walk around frustrated, angry and depressed, irritated by every minor inconvenience and probably just a joy to be around.  There are so many negative phone calls and emails pouring in that I am constantly running them around in my head, analyzing and critiquing my responses, calling my Dad to both vent and ask for advice.  He's probably beyond sick of hearing about what happens at a textile factory thousands of miles away, but he always takes my calls.  Yesterday, I found three gray hairs at my temples, the first ones.  Today I decided it was time to buzz my head again.

For the first time in my life, I completely understand the temptation of people to get off work, drink a few beers, and then just zone out in front of the TV.  It is a break from thinking, and it is a break from the constant stream of news, information and data that I have been processing over the last 10-12 hours.  I have always been excellent at separating my LIFE from work, and stress never kept me from training, reading and doing the things that I care about.  These days, I am so wrapped up in it all that I can't let myself let go of it.  I've been exercising less, drinking more, and eating like shit.  My blog posts are all emo like this one.

Starting tomorrow, I am going to pull my shit together and get back to being me.

How do you get yourself out of a rut?  What do you do when work is becoming your everything?


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He who hesitates is lost

16 comments:

linda said...

i make a video blog about the alphabet, have a gchat with martin, plaster something with stickers... journal.. watch movies. call a friend to talk about nothing

Allison said...

If I'm not enjoying my job, and I'm working a lot I find I waste my days off by sleeping and lounging. It's so easy to get into these kinds of ruts.

I find if you get out of the house - socialize more by surrounding yourself with people who make you happy.

Watch a good movie, listen to your favourite music, cook something delicious, go for a run to clear your head.

And everyone feels like this - so I don't think it's emo, it's human.

Kat Argonza said...

I go on very, very long walks. Sometimes alone - sometimes with a lizard-summoning boxer.

Tim said...

I watch 30 Rock marathons. It never fails to make me laugh and just lounge.

I write (not blog) in a journal.
And I find socializing with people (and it can be agonizing) can get you to think outside yourself.

This post resonates with me a lot actually. It's good to know that others go through similar situations. I know exactly what you're talking about.

Anonymous said...

Head up, kiddo. Not everyday is rainbows and sunshine and sappy happy crap. Roll with the punches. First step to getting out of a rut is simply just taking that first step. Take a deep breath, remember you ARE a champion and savor each mini-victory until peace and order are restored in the land of Martin. I'm rooting for you :)

Bryan Schatz said...

I agree with Anonymous, as well as Kat. Sometimes just walking for extremely long periods of time is a good way to get things in order. Like we were talking about earlier, forcing yourself to do something, anything, that mixes up the stagnant waters of laziness to kick some sort of motion in gear. Plus, there is a hiking trip on the horizon that I imagine will do wonders.

freckleonthenose said...

Sometimes it's hard to just get in the car and do it, but a good drive in the car always helps me. Windows down, music up, just driving a solo trip - whether it's ten miles down the road or one hundred.

hellotaylor said...

First of all, I absolutely love this title. Makes me laugh.

When I'm feeling down, I tend to watch Rent and smoke cigarettes. I exercise when I'm thinking too much. Run until I can't think about anything except whether or not my lungs are going to explode.

Good luck, things always get better :)

Martin said...

Linda - I'm looking forward to the video blog. I hope you find your "z."

Allison - I think you are right that getting out of the house is important.

Kat - They just come to me like that. "LIZARD!"

Tim - Thanks for coming by. Thinking outside of yourself seems to be the big thing, however someone actually goes about it.

Clara - I DO love victory...small victories, big victories. Mmm...savor it.

Bryan - I cannot wait for the camping trip. It's EXACTLY what I need.

Freckleonthenose - I haven't done that in a long time, but you're right. I used to go for long drives on the coast back in high school when I was frustrated. Time to bring that back I think.

Taylor - Glad you like it. I am proud to say that no emo band came immediately to mind, and I had to go to Wikipedia and Google to find common "emo" bands.

Alison said...

Hit someone/thing. Hard. Repeat until all the other shit fades away and doesn't matter anymore.

(Best to do this in a gym though, prison would prob not help your stress levels too much).

Martin said...

Alison- I think that has a lot to do with it actually. I have been so busy with work that I havent been to the gym in a while. Its been close to 2 weeks since I punched anyone :(

Venom said...

I'm still distracted by the thought of your balls in the air...

Believe it or not, there's an answer in there - when I'm overwhelmed or overtired I (cleverly) cover it all up by cracking wise.

Yeah, it never really works... So I'm with Allison, make some time to go punch the shit out of the heavy bag or, better yet, a sparring partner that you secretly despise. (Hey, I never claimed to be Dr. Phil.)

Alison said...

No no no. You need to hit people more often than that! And we all know you never regret going training, only not going.

So stop doing the 'responsible' things that you 'need' to do all the bloody time and do what you want to do that also has the benefit of keeping you sane and happy.

Now get down the gym you lazy git!

Trouble.Thinks said...

Frustrated? Angry? Depressed? Emo? Work is becoming your everything? Martin. You need to get laid. LOL.

Trouble.Thinks said...

What I find works, is to 'get away from it all'...take a weekend to yourself. Go to the ocean. Put your feet in the sand and breathe life in.

Martin said...

Alison - YES MA'AM!

TT - Very true

TT - Actually, I got some plans coming up for that :)

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