Monday, March 8, 2010

Salamander Orgies, Waterfalls, and Powerful Insight into the Womenfolk

It's important to call "shotgun" when you are driving in Jai's car.  That's because she has seat warmers and they are awesome.  I was all hopped up on caffeine and death metal when I met up with Jai and Shawna for our bi-weekly trek.  They were looking pretty fired up themselves.  That was a little surprising, since I knew they had spent the night previous at a salsa club, probably downing tequila shots and rubbing up on Latin men named "Enrique."
     We headed out, and I, by way of preemptive "shotgun" call, enjoyed the kickass seat warmer.  Shawna then pulled a slick one by feigning car-sickness, a horrible malaise that can only be cured by sitting in the front seat.  We made a quick stop on a turn-out, and I spent the rest of the drive pouting in the backseat.   
    Jai picked a hell of a pretty hike this time out, and we spent a few hours hiking under a green canopy that hugged the Northern California coastline.
    We passed a large puddle in the middle of the trail that was full of newts.  They were horny little bastards.  Of the 25-30 we saw, probably half of them were getting down.  A few piles of 3 or 4 at a time were going at it.  Shawna blushed.  It was cute.
    We arrived at the highlight of the trip; a series of waterfalls that lead out of the forest and flow off of a steep drop-off ending on the beach and into the Pacific Ocean.  
    We tripped and stumbled our way down the steep, dirt trail leading to the beach, where we could eat our sandwiches and drink our whiskey.  Shawna and Jai nearly died.  I blame Enrique.
    I finally remembered to bring my flask.  Jameson Irish Whiskey, Boi!
    After that, we stumbled back up the hill, flopped about dramatically by the waterfalls, and headed home.  There was an excess of estrogen, and I learned all sorts of useful information about women.  Seriously, I am enlightened.  And I owe it all to these two.

Location: Bolinas (Marin County)
Mileage: 8.6m


Anonymous said...

How funny...glad ur enjoing life and living it to the fullest. My up most respect to hikers now.u go boy : ) I think you should honestly start writting books now.your a pretty good bloger.

Ms. C said...

yay for enlightenment :) loved this entry, as usual.

Cheryl said...

Drunk ass.

Trouble.Thinks said...

Seat warmers rule!

A book, as anon said, might not be a bad idea! Maybe you could add a section for us women about you men.

Nice place to hike.

souljane said...

adventures. happiness. salamanders.

some say i need to sort my priorities.

great post.

Allison said...

You had me at "Salamander Orgies"

Does it get cold enough in California to warrant seat warmers? This is an honest question - I'm not being "that asshole Canadian" again.

Alison said...

Yes. Write a book. And use it to share your enlightenment with your fellow, usually slow witted and insensitive, menfolk. Please include:

- no our bum does NOT look big in this (absolutely no hesitation, this is critical);
- our bad mood is because we are righteously, deservedly and understandably pissed off, NOT because its 'that time of the month';
- chocolate ALWAYS helps, in any situation; and
- yes, we do always need new shoes.

Those are freebies, now buy me a yacht with the millions you make...

Juliana said...

how dare you not share what you've learned??

tell your friends that 60% of the time, Enriques have crabs every time. i do not know this from experience. it's what i HEARD...

floreta said...

you stopped without sharing what you learned!!!

i've tried seat warmers on a mini cooper. they are awesome.

Martin said...

Anonymous - Thanks!

Ms. C - Enlightenment...good

Cheryl - You WOULD focus on the negatives.

Trouble - a book about men would be about 1 page long.

SJ - The priorities seem about right to me.

Alisson - I guess...I wouldn't say seat warmers were required, but it was still cold enough for them to be enjoyed.

Alison - Gold. Thank you for sharing. Those will go in the book.

Juliana - I was sworn to secrecy. It was very useful stuff though, I'll tell you that. Well noted regarding Enrique, and I will pass along your experie...erm...wisdom.

Floreta - Im with ya on the seat warmers. Whole-heartedly.

Lorien said...

Sooo.... what did you learn?

Sean said...

I really dug this one, the hike looked amazing, Jameson, salamander orgy...pretty much all I want out of life. Beautiful pics, well written, very excellent.

Kate said...

Mmmm. Whiskey.

Kate x

Martin said...

Lorien - That's confidential.

Sean - Thank you! Jameson and salamander orgies...what else do you need?

Kate - I'm with ya...

Chaitri said...

1. Freaking cool that you wrote about this hike. I can confidently say Ive hiked many a mountain and this one defn made it to the top 5

2. Whiskey at the beach, how did you manage to NOT fall on the way back up from the beach?? It was quite a climb there.

3. Hike talks are the best ;) so get any good info on women or are you still confused? LOL

4. Also thanks for reading my blog :)